Mommy Guilt!

This afternoon I brought the boys to the park because the sun finally came out and we were ready to get outside and enjoy it. We went to a park that is close by but not our "usual" park. They were thrilled for some place new to explore. I kept finding myself being torn between who to pay attention to. I must have heard "Mom look at me" and "Mom Watch This" like a bagillion times. I'm not sure if it was because it was some place different or if it was just because things have been a little hectic with them being in school and me working but I felt like I was stuck in the middle and couldn't pay enough attention to each of them to make them happy. Every time I would go watch Sam go down the slide Parker would start getting upset because I wasn't watching him climb up the ropes. And vice versa. It just went on and on the ENTIRE time we were there. I am not going to lie, it was rough.

Back before I was working, now granted I am only working 11 hours a week but it does eat up most of my "Day time" on Tuesday and Friday's so lets pretend that I work 2 "full" days a week, and before the boys were in school I used to have my Mom come over 2 days a week to help out. It started that I was having her watch them so I could run errands, grocery shop or just run around the mall and get some quiet time. As time went on and the boys got older and more adaptable I was able to get all my errands done with them in tow because for some reason my boys LOVE going to Meijer. Ha! So when my Mom would come over I would usually have one day to myself and then have the other day as a special "Mommy & Sam day" or "Mommy & Parker Day". It was AWESOME. I would get to spend a lot of one on one attention with them and they soaked it up like a sponge. We would come home from one of our "dates" and I could just tell that it helped improve not only our relationship but their moods. I can always tell when they need attention because it gets very LOUD in this house!!!

So as I have noticed the volume level RISING here at home and the "Mom watch MEEEEE'S" being said constantly it occurred to me that it has been a long time since we have had some one on one time. I have been so focused on them being in school and the fact that I'm enjoying my new job and getting all of my needs met that I have kind of neglected the fact that they need that special time as well.

I am vowing (to all of the internet) to make sure over the next week that I spend at least 2 hours away from the house with each child and making sure that they know how much I love them and appreciate them for who they are. Not just "Sam & Parker" or "The Boys" or "The Twins" (which they call them at school and it bugs the hell outta me, ha!) but Sam. And Parker. Two unique individuals who need special attention from their Mommy!