You Gotta Have Faith

I'm sitting here tonight with a heavy heart. One of my husbands co-workers passed away today. He had been in a terrible car accident earlier this week. He is leaving behind two children ages 5 and 1 and he was only 36 which is just a year older than Nate. I can tell Nate is struggling with it because he has been a little quiet and withdrawn. He mentioned to me earlier how hard it was to believe that it can happen so quickly. I was thinking about the man and how he probably rushed out of the house quickly that morning because the roads were bad and hopefully he remembered to kiss his wife and kids and tell them he loved them. All day I have been haunted by the "What If's" of life. What if something happened to Nate?? What if he died in a freak accident and I forgot to kiss him goodbye that day or tell him how much I loved him. How would I survive without him? He travels all the time is always on the road and although he would like to think he is a perfect driver.....what is someone else wasn't. The "What If's" will really get to you if you let them .

I have decided that I can't think about that stuff anymore. I'm blocking it from my hugely large and overeducated brain ( Insert bad joke to lighten the mood) I have FAITH that God has a plan for me and my family. I have to put my trust in him. I will not allow my fears to get the best of me!!

I know it's so cliche to say "Live Like You Might Die Tomorrow" I hear that and think ummmm HELLO If I was going to die tomorrow I would be PISSED off sitting at my kitchen table probably eating all the junk food I could handle and crying my eyeballs out. Don't think I should be living that way each and every day. However I do think it's important to live a happy life. If something sucks and you aren't happy CHANGE IT!!! Find a way!!! That is my new motto!!! I think I'll have a t-shirt printed up that says "Quit your bitchin and CHANGE IT" Anyone want one?

So I think today January 9th I have made my New Years Resolution. My goal for 2010 is to have fun, laugh a TON, snuggle with my kids more, kiss my husband more, appreciate my family more, enjoy time with my girlfriends more and just plain LIVE MORE!!!